Thailand, Teddies and Take Off

Our impending trip back to Thailand is now only days away. My kids Tom and Hannah, and her friend Meg, and I will be leaving for Bangkok within a week.

We have a small suitcase each and 3 very large bags of wonderful Teddies, that have been donated by generous Kiwis to give to the lovely children at Baan Tharn Namchai in Khao Lak.

Two days ago was the anniversary of the Boxing Day Tsunami that changed the lives of so many and was the start of the amazing work and journey of Hands Across The Water.

This year I have chosen not to do the ride myself but to take the kids to live at BTN for nearly 3 weeks. We are taking soccer balls, face paints, educational toys, English language resources, and over 300 Teddies! The cyclists will be riding into BTN on 23 January, which will be a source of great elation for all involved, excitement and anticipation for all the children, coupled with great relief for the cyclists who would have pedalled 800kms as I did last year.

Tom is MOST excited about meeting his penpal, Gean,  that he has been corresponding with for the whole of the year.  They are both very excited about finally meeting after exchanging letters, photos and Xmas cards.

Hannah and Meg are LEAST excited about not being allowed to take their iphones, nowadays considered by most 14 year old girls in our world as a total necessity.  The pleading has become increasingly creative and relentless. "Oh but mum... it has all my music, how will I take photos otherwise, and I have to keep in touch with all my friends. I NEED it."

"First world problem," as Tom succinctly put it.  He is happy to leave his at home.

We are so grateful to everyone who has donated Teddies for the kids, all the $25 donations to support the incredible work of HATW and to all our friends, family and school mates who help us make a difference and continue to be so encouraging about our impending trip.

It is not too late to donate and send us a message for one of the Teddies.

So this will be our blog for those interested in following our amazing school holiday adventure.  Hopefully we will be able to do regular updates, take lots of photos and share our impressions of daily life at BTN.

Home Hug Orphanage - my journey comes to an end...for now.

It is hard to describe what happened for the rest of the day and the emotions it aroused in us all.  It was the culmination of 8 days of challenge, laughter, pain and elation. The ride has challenged me on a physical level, a mental level and now the emotions were bubbling up to the surface.

The anticipation of meeting the children at Ban Home Hug had been the main driving force for most of us on the ride. For those of us that had not been there before and probably never encountered children affected by HIV, we simply did not know what to expect.

We knew that Mae Thiew was a courageous and inspiring woman, who was overcoming her own personal challenges to care for these orphans.  We knew that before Hands Across the Water had got involved a few years ago, children were developing and dying from AIDS at an alarming rate.  Peter's description of when he had first seen the orphanage a few years ago was that is was a very sad place.  Apparently there had been the donation of a library building from the Thai royal family.  We joked that Maslow would have had something to say about that - books are wonderful but not when basic needs like running water and sanitary conditions were not being met and children were dying.

In 2011, Mae Thiew was the Reader's Digest Winner of Asian of the Year and I have just read a very informative and poignant article about her and her work.  With a degree in psychology, she moved to Yasathon to help the children of poor migrant workers.  The children either lose parents to HIV, are born with it or in some cases, contract it through abuse by a family member with the disease. Mae Thiew has fought hard to get the children to be accepted into the local community and be able to attend school, as there is a lot of stigma attached to HIV.

Although fewer children are now dying, she describes death as a natural truth and tells the children all about suffering and death. In the early days, some of the older children would have to dig graves and help each other make a coffin as the undertakers would not get involved, due to fear of the disease. 

Mae Thiew never complains.  On some days on the bike ride, we could see she was tired and in pain.  At the orphanage, if she is exhausted, she simply tells the children that she needs to rest and that when she has regained strength, she will attend to their needs again. The kids then come and rub her head, and tickle her feet and that is when they open up and tell her their stories.  

So as we rode up to the garlands of flowers and friends and families of the riders, we were greeted by older children, who took us by the hands and led us in and gave us a cool coconut or iced water.  

We sat down in a huge open sided building, where tables had been arranged in a U shape, ready for some performances by the children.  The Catholic Sister who lives and works there welcomed us on the microphone in good English and we were invited to eat the beautiful food that had been prepared.

I sat with the Kiwis, Andrew and his wife Sue and Chris.  Sue and Andrew had not been back since they spent ten weeks here two years ago painting rooms and installing the water tank with other volunteers.

The performances were opened by the older children and Mae Thiew's daughter who sang.  She also sounds incredible and is heavily involved in the community helping people as well as at the orphanage.

An older boy is a singer/song-writer played guitar and sang for us.  He has composed a lot of his own songs and apparently wrote a song every time a child died.  His job had also been to dig the graves.  One of his dreams was to perform in front of people.  He not only achieved that but on a trip to sydney was given the opportunity to record some of his songs and make a cd.

The little kids have been learning to break dance and put on a gorgeous show for us as you can imagine.

Once we had eaten, we were to play a game to buddy up.  A photo of a child had been hung around our necks and each child had a lanyard with a photo of a rider.  The game was to find your child.  There was a bit of confusion as the photos did not seem to match up but we all found our children!  To my amazement, the child that I had been allocated was PP, the very one that 2 years ago was too sick to meet the riders and whom they thought would die, the one we had been told to think of on the harder stretches of the last days of the ride.

So off I went in search of PP who was to show me around the orphanage.  He had already found Peter, whom he recognised.  A big thing for the kids is that they need to see a familiar face.  It is fine to waltz in for the afternoon and connect with the kids but, although we would see them again tonight, we would be gone too soon.  PP led me to a table where we were given gifts with a t-shirt and a sticky rice basket with hand-written messages on hearts like " Thank you for your concern" and " We love Mummy and Daddy".

He kept checking my picture on the badge and then looking at my face as if to impress it on his memory.  Then he grabbed my hand and off we went.  He showed me the veggie garden and there is a very hot mushroom growing tent.

 They make a very big effort to be sustainable and there is a farm stall with gorgeous water buffalo.  

 Touch is very important and very soon, PP wanted a piggy back ride and I was happy to oblige, until he got told off and instructed to get down.  We carried on past the dog kennels. They seem to take in all the local strays who then live there with the kids.  The many dogs had been put away for the day for our arrival! 

PP then turned his attention to my camera and all the buttons.  He wanted to learn how to take a photo.  This is one he took of me!

Once we had exhausted the opportunities that my camera presented, he stopped to have a drink, and we skipped back in unison to the general area where everyone was congregating for a photo with the children.

It was then time to say goodbye.  I found PP and gave him a high five and clambered on the old bus.  I felt emotionally drained, sad to be leaving, very honoured to have been so welcomed into Ban Home Hug but in desperate need of a shower! We were to see them later in the evening for a dinner and show. 

The evening dinner with the kids was amazing.  Mae Thiew, with the kids, put on a performance of Thai Boxing, Thai Dancing and we watched very moving slide shows of images from Home Hug and previous rides.  It had all begun to sink in and my heart strings were being yanked, not tugged, and I was doing my best to hold it all together!

Then the dancing started, the kids keen to compare their latest moves with ours.  Our aches and pains, numbed by the Chang Beer, quickly turned into a demonstration of exotic steps and hand moves.  I love dancing with kids.  Unable to communicate with much fluency, this became our new language. They copied us and we them.

I soon found PP and went to take his hand.  He stopped to look at me very closely, clearly not sure if the sweaty lycra-clad woman he had met this afternoon was the same one standing before him, wearing a dress and make-up. Satisfied that I was indeed his buddy from earlier on, he proceeded to lead me around the dance floor, stopping to occasionally look back at me and then show me to people.  The children clearly loved making these connections but I was already sad at how short-lived it would be.  

Earlier the kids had tied white and yellow friendship bracelets around our wrists, which we are not to take off apparently but keep them on until they fall off.  

Everyone had a different experience with their children.  Emma had made an effort to go round the edge of the room and try to connect with some of the children that were not interacting.  She found a little boy who was just sitting there, his face blank and, try as she might, she could not get a smile, let alone an acknowledgement.  She sat alongside him and tapped in time to the music on their legs, not saying a word.  Then, all of a sudden, he caught sight of one of our Thai team, Magcup, with a child riding up on his shoulders.  The little boy's face lit up and Emma went to see if Magcup would give the child a ride as well.  The transformation was remarkable and her photo of him clearly reflects this.

The evening ended with a large circle of adults on the dance floor, encircling a smaller circle of the children.  They were to move from one to the next and give us a hug as a way of saying thank you and goodbye.  I was very conscious that most came up to about  waist or chest height and I tried to bend down to hug.  Sometimes it felt as though they wanted to be be pressed into a chest or bosom and not be released.  I did this until they themselves pulled away and moved to the next person.  

However, my jagged emotions were soon to be sorely tested when a boy in yellow held on very tightly.  He was hugging me very hard around my waist and reached about chest height.  I put my other hand on his shortly-cropped hair and that is when his sobbing started.  We stood there holding each other and I also started to cry.  His little body shook with grief and then he looked up at my face, clearly embarrassed. When he saw i was crying too, he sobbed some more and would not let go.  Someone had seen what was happening and came to release me from his grip.  They explained that he had lost his mother and he probably had memories coming up for him.  Tears rolled down my face as my efforts to control myself were meaningless.  At the time of writing, the memory of this moment still makes me cry.

The highs and the lows of the ride had culminated in this last day, this last evening.  It was these children we had ridden for, challenged ourselves over physically and mentally, through the fundraising, through the ride.  And now it was over.  We would go back to our privileged lives, our easy lives.  It was time to go back to our own families whom I was missing a lot.  However, I know that a lot of us, including myself, would never be the same again. 

In the words of Mae Thiew:  "While we are alive, we should love others as much as we can.  Don't wait until they are gone and then weep for nothing. Death is the conclusive chapter of the love you mutually share with someone."

What is so clear is what a difference people like Mae Thiew and Peter Baines make in the world. The great thing about Hands Across The Water is that 100% of funds goes directly to the commitment of saving lives and giving children options in life that do not involve disease, trafficking and prostitution.

I have resolved to continue fundraising and to do the southern ride in 2015 and invite anyone who has enjoyed this blog to join me!

800kms in 8 days was over - arriving at Home Hug! (Part One)

It was with nervous anticipation that we prepared ourselves for our last day of riding.  I think Emma and I had mentally finished the ride so the smaller job of riding 75km seemed slightly irritating.  We just wanted to get there, get off the bikes and meet the children that meant so much to Mae Thiew at Ban Home Hug.  We had also had a small insight last night into how much she means to them.

So we packed our bags and had  breakfast of eggs, fried rice, toast and coffee for our normal 7.15 departure. It was also not without irony that this was the Thai National Children's Day.

And as our tired legs warmed up and started the daily grind, the beautiful scenery of the Thai countryside was lit up but the golden dust of the morning air.  

The last day suddenly seemed so final and it dawned on us all that this would be the last time we would be together as a group and the last time that we could enjoy this amazing experience together.  I resolved to make the most of the riding, the team and take some new photos.  We met some ladies sorting and drying rice at the last stop.

The ride has been not only a physical challenge but a mental one.  What we could not anticipate was the emotional challenge that lay ahead when we would ride into the orphanage at lunchtime.

The riding was slower today.  It seemed much hotter and we were weary. We stuffed our pockets with more sticky hands to throw to local children in the villages.  I have loved the rubbish bins at the entrance to each house or driveway.  

They are made of old tyres turned inside out and look something like a cauldron or old pot which could be used in a production of Macbeth!  This resourceful addition to each household seems to be slowly being replaced by the modern yellow plastic rubbish bins with which we are familiar. 

On our second water stop, a very random event occurred.  I remember coming round a corner fairly close to the front of the pack, only to be confronted by a group of men in bright orange shirts.  They were all holding large drums, except one with cymbals and another with electric guitar connected to a speaker which was being pushed on a cart.  I think they were equally as surprised as we were to see a sea of blue shirts on bikes appear before them.  I did not even have time to dismount or take off my helmet and gloves before they started playing and it was LOUD!  

The sweat was running down my head and body but I started snapping away and videoing with my camera. Led by Kelly, some of the team had managed to get off their bikes and had started dancing.

They were then joined by the village ladies who were laughing and dancing, moving their beautiful hands and bodies in time to the music.  It was such a random event that it felt surreal.  Had this been pre-arranged for our entertainment?  Was this anything to do with National Children's Day?  We joked afterwards with Chris and Gae that they had really gone beyond the call of duty to organise such an event for us!

The band played on and then as quickly as they had appeared, they were gone.

We stayed a while in the village, and Gae explained to the locals about what we were doing. 

 There is little acceptance of orphans with HIV in Thailand and we learned that a group of foreigners representing these kids does a lot for the cause.  

Renee and I were invited into one house by a heavily pregnant lady that was peeling fruit that they were delighted to share with us.  Her baby is due soon.

Riding into Ban Home Hug was extraordinary and a life-changing experience for me.  It is hard to put it into words but the some of the girls decided afterwards that we would rank it right up there with the intense pain and the overwhelming joy of childbirth.

Suddenly on the 8th day of riding, the 800kms was over!  We could hardly believe it. 

We were greeted at the entrance to the orphanage but a bunch of beautiful children with red roses for us.  They had their bicycles and escorted us down the shady lane towards our final destination.  

Some of them were so small on tiny bikes with training wheels pedaling as fast as their little legs would go.  

As we pulled up at the entrance, it was a highly emotional scene.  We were greeted by families of the riders, the staff at Home Hug, other kids, who took our bikes and put flowers round our necks.  Tears flowed and it was so overwhelming as we were welcomed by the Sister at Ban Home Hug to what would unfold into a very memorable afternoon and evening with the kids. 

And that is another story...

Drawing inspiration from all the other riders

Thank you to those who are following the blog, particularly to my overseas friends and Emma's family in England!  Emma is the reason I am here on the ride and has been an inspiration all the way.  I had a question from my husband on the phone when he asked whether Emma and I had fallen out as she hardly gets a mention in my blog.
I have actually been saving up photos of the gorgeous Emma, who has been the best room mate ever.  No complaints when I wake up early to blog (but I guess that it gets her off the hook for writing hers!) and she also has no bad habits and does not snore!

Thanks roomy for everything!

There are 29 riders all together, each one an integral and inspiring member of the group. 

This is a picture of the boys that was taken on the last day. 

More importantly, here are the girls!  A great bunch of awesome women.

It has been amazing to have time to connect with people this week and it made me realise that in real life, we do not take the time to do that enough.  In our busy worlds, conversations too often remain at the superficial level and we never really find out quite how fabulous a person is.  Experiencing the highs and the lows, the pain and the thrills of a week like this with people who all share a common goal and have sacrificed a huge amount personally and financially to be here, is extraordinary.  

Thanks team for a life-changing experience!  I cannot mention everyone but here are some that did stand out for me.

The most inspiring person on the ride is Mae Thiew.  Director of Ban Home Hug, she rode tandem with Craig (Borat) all the way. Mae Thiew dedicates her life to the orphanage and, with the help of Hands, has turned it into a place of hope and courage for children affected by HIV.  Up until a few years ago,  children were dying at the rate of a few a week.  Now it is a more rare occurrence, thanks to Mae Thiew and Hands.  She herself, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago but seems to soldier on with such dignity and grace.  She was so encouraging to us all but we knew she could not wait to get back to Ban Home Hug to the kids she missed so much.

Peter Baines (our intrepid Hands leader)  and his girlfriend Claire Thomas make such a lovely couple.  They have been very supportive to us novice riders.  He reminded me that that the night I first met him in Sydney at Emma's party, I asked him if the book he has written was any good!  Yes is it is great and it certainly moved me to action, so anyone thinking about doing the ride or getting involved with supporting Hands Across the Water should definitely read it!

Some would say the Brown family are a liablity!  Although they have been involved with Hands for a long time, John was the rider that ran down a small child, with thankfully only some impressive bruises to show for it.  

Jan rode only some days as she was nursing an injured foot in a sexy black boot.  Their daughter Emma had a shoulder op about 3 months ago but still rode like a champion with her lovely boyfriend Danny.  They play mean game of cards, however.

Then there is, of course, Team New Zealand!  Andrew Blair and Chris Wilson were great and and very supportive.  The dry sense of humour got me through the days boys and you flew the flag well.  Sorry I beat you all at scrabble and glad you learned the rules of 500!

Kelly is the mad blond Aussie girl with the pimped up bike.  She has a huge heart and is a breath of air freshener (as Kath and Kim would say) with her jokes and random acts of madness.  

Frank was riding for the second time with his 15 year old grandson, Broden.  What an experience they must have had.  Riding with the girls, he became known as Frankie and the Squashed Peaches and he pulled out some impressive dance moves on the last night as well!

Gorgeous Lisa from Adelaide grew up in Australia but is originally a Kiwi, so we made her an honorary member of the NZ team.  Here she is pictured with Henry, who is already famous for his legs.

Other Frank is an inspiration.  Originally from SA and a former policeman there, this power house was the oldest on the road and his determination and courage is fantastic.  Here he is pictured with the gorgeous beautiful Renee.

The lovely Lyn did not stop smiling and is one of the most positive people I have ever met. She is pictured here on the left with Jan and I after the most gruelling leg of our ride.  Thanks girls for getting me through.

Scott is on the Board of Hands and one of the kindest people I have met.  He was only just getting over pneumonia when the ride started but still found time to help and support everyone else.

Chris from Cairns is hysterical and very kinds and gives the best hugs when most needed.

Also could not have got through with the lovely Trevor (Trev the Rev) - another very interesting and kind man. Shame about the 80s tunes.  Will have to upgrade your playlist for you if you do the ride again!

 Andrew (pictured here with Kelly) is from Perth and his lovely wife Gabe would be waiting for us at the orphanage where she had been working for a few days.

There was also my other lovely "roomy" on the first night, the intrepid Erin from Brisbane, who is great company and dances on her bike as she cycles along! 

The other lovely girl from Brisbane is Catherine, who is a little camera shy but here she is in the tuktuk in the Bangkok!

Last but not least was Woot, who also works at Ban Home Hug.  He had limited English but never stops smiling, was a very strong rider and was official photographer on the ride.  I look forward to seeing all his shots. 

Thanks to all you extraordinary people for your love and support.  Now heading to the last day with my new family!

Day Seven Khemmerat to Amnart Charoen - 137 kms

137km 

I remember stirring once in the night and it hurt. Then at 5.30am, I did wake up nervous.  This was the big day...literally.  The day we were to cycle 137kms and I was not at all sure how I was going to cope, physically and mentally. 

Being the expert that I now am, what I have come to realise about cycling is that there is a lot out of your control!  You can train, steer and pedal your bike in the right direction, even prepare yourself mentally, but if the roads are a patchwork of potholes and ruts, (like there had been for a couple of days) there is a headwind (as there was on day five and six) or you have not eaten the correct food and hydrated properly, you don't stand a chance.

Sometimes you have to do an unscheduled detour due to a road block!

So the water stops on long rides become a race to fill up your water bottle with electrolytes, eat the delicious watermelon, pineapple, banana, and peanut brittle.If we stop at a shop, we buy peanuts, crisps, M and M's, cans of coffee, coke, in fact just about anything that will fuel our tiring muscles and boost our energy and replace the huge calories we have been burning every day.

Before we set off on the well-anticipated monster of a day, Peter gave us a great pep talk and told us about a little boy PP with HIV, who, two years ago, had been too unwell to see the riders.  In fact they thought he would die. He is now six and is doing well apparently and, little did I know, I was going to find out.  Peter told us to think of the challenges that this young life was already facing when we were at our lowest point during the day.

What really helped me today was the growing experience of riding in a group.  Some of the girls got such a great group together that we were zipping along at one point at 32kph.  In fact the group was so good that boys joined it too!

We divided up the day into about 23km stretches and thanked every god we could that the roads were becoming so much smoother.  On the whole (hole!) - the bumps and ruts and judderings have played havoc with joints, hands, and bums.  

But mainly today we were able to zip along until a wonderful lunch at 82kms of Pad Thai and a whole coconut which we then cut open to scoop out the flesh.  Divine.

Starting up again after lunch is always hard but we had a job to do as we edged ever nearer our goal of Yasthon and the orphanage.  We kept our groups going and rotated to allow weaker or tired riders to rest behind others.  The support of the team is magnificent.  Today we had a couple of people in tears, a wrenched shoulder but we battled on. And on and on.

The stops also provide the necessary Hong Nam (toilet) which means Water Room.  So you get a hole in the ground and a tub of water with a scoop to help you flush.  At times my tired quads would protest at having to squat and I realise now that the boys in the gym in Auckland were not getting me to do squats for any other reason that to prepare me for the loos!  Thanks Greg and Lawrence!

At one stop, the lady in the shop was staring at Danny the young and very fit boyfriend of young Emma Brown.  "Very nice Farang (foreigner) - very high, very white!)  White skin is de rigeur in Asia.

At 137kms, we pulled into the town of Amnat Charoen and to our surprise, there were some of the young kids from Home Hug that had been bussed up to meet with us. 

We leaped off our bikes and ran to join the on the mat outside the van, all aches and pains of a huge cycle quickly forgotten.  

The tears ran down my face as I looked upon these little souls, so young so sweet and innocent, whom we ride to support.  This was a total surprise for Mae Thiew and she had really missed her children and they her. One of them approached me and gave me a hug, maybe because I was crying!

Yes it all hurts but we did some extraordinary riding today and I am so proud of us all.  Tomorrow is the last day and we go to the orphanage after a short 70km ride for the end of the trip.

The evening was spent in a karaoke bar and I will never understand where we found the energy but the alcohol certainly numbed the pain.  Needless to say, I got the show off the ground and everyone joining in and the highlight for me was Kiwi Andrew's rendition of "Itsy Witsy Teeny Weeny.." Classic.